2. All my breakfasts would look like Annie Leibovitz photographed them. Oh you didn't have whole wheat pancakes with fresh fruit and organic, homemade greek yogurt this morning? how basic. Oh and I only just had one slice because you know portions.
3. I would always get caught looking like this. Oh no, how did the paparazzi find me again looking oh so effortlessly chic on my perfect summer outing to the Farmer's market to buy kale and let my freshly blown-out locks bask in the summer sun? I always wear heels everywhere, don't you?
4. My besties and I would all look like models with perfect asses and we would always be laughing. like always. Because live, laugh, love am I right? Our days would be filled with quintessentially perfect summer days where we head to the beach, tan our obnoxiously toned hot bods, eat ice cream that would never go to our asses, splash in the waves, and make all the ugly girl trios out there feel like shit. Don't hate us because we are beautiful.
5. My house would look like Martha Stewart just scampered out the back door. People are living in refugee camps all around the world? Not me! All my friends are jealous and sleepovers at my house are rad.
6. I totally spend all my free time baking up culinary masterpieces such as this. Notice the unrealistic way in which the carmel drizzles from my spoon. I also can enjoy eating these treats because my metabolism is the speed of Space Mountain and there is no worry about me sitting down in front of any trashy E! shows and consuming the whole lot of them because I am a balanced, rational human being.
7. I look like this working out. Sweating is for peasants. Oh you don't do 6am spin class? I'm judging you. Also did you see my bulging biceps? That's called self-discipline. Learn it.
8. Just another fresh salad I just whipped up after my workout with some local produce I just bought at Whole Foods for 17.95 (that was just the cabbage). Yum. SO filling, I don't even feel like dessert.
9. I do yoga. I recycle. I climb mountains to sip organic coffee and ponder deep questions like the the destiny of mankind. I also recite Tolstoy. Aren't I well rounded and totally adventurous? I don't need anyone to come with me either because I am a strong, independent woman. Oh yea and my hair is still perfect.
10. While the rest of you are only just talking about saving up to travel the world, bitch I am already on expedia. I have unlimited time and resources to travel unashamedly. I don't just dream. I do. I also have deep philosophies like "collect moments not things," that I chant to myself while I practice yoga.
11. Bonus!!! My boyfriend and I have pictures like these and don't question who was taking them. Also I am so thin I look like I narrowly just escaped Auschwitz because guys hate curves. obviously.
we are so in love I have already picked out our four children's names and even pre-scrapbooked our wedding and he doesn't even find that clingy or creepy!
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